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Guys...
Feb 25, 2008 1:34:36 GMT -4
Post by Uziel on Feb 25, 2008 1:34:36 GMT -4
I'll be brief, I'm not in the mood for my stupid shit.
Sera had some complications during Chinese New Years and didn't make it. Today her sister contacted me and gave me this letter she was writing. So read on.
From Sera:
"Hi if you are reading this I am already dead. Haha that line sounds cheesy doesn’t it? Almost like some last message left by a secret agent’s father to his son or successor or something. 10 years ago I’d never have dreamed I was going to be writing a letter like this. I remember watching it in a movie once, and thinking to myself, “How cheesy. No one would ever write something like that.” Now you must be wondering, if I thought that what am I doing writing a letter like this? Well, I was admitted to hospital after my 6th attack and told I would be in for several weeks and well, it was at that point that I began to realize, I probably am not going to live for much longer. So here I am writing a letter of the same style, great irony isn’t it? It has only been 2 years since I met you guys on RO and here I am leaving you guys behind… I apologize to all of you, for hurting each of you by getting to know you. I’m sorry for being selfish by making friends even with a terminal disease. I pray that one day you will all be able to forgive me for spreading an unneeded burden, but it was just so… fun to be with you guys. Where before I dreaded the coming of tomorrow as it felt like more sand falling out of the hourglass, I found myself looking towards tomorrow, even though I knew it would mean 1 more day closer to the end. So after all this time, here we are, at a crossroads, except this time I am the only one getting on the train. And so I guess, this would be where I put my final farewells:
I wish you all great happiness and health.
p.s. In the old days, you were pronounced dead when your heart stopped beating. I guess if we used that, this would be my 8th and final death. I always wondered if maybe I’d be like a cat, and maybe have 9 lives, but I guess I stopped short of that and only had 8 eh?"
Also her sister wants to thank all of us for being such good friends too her.
I can't put my thoughts into words right now but I'll be the first to say I was happy to meet her and happy to spend two whole years with her.
She was a good friend, a responsible adult and the best damn paladin player I've had the pleasure of meeting (I'm sorry that last bit was too corny)
I don't believe in an afterlife but if there is I hope she's in a better place.
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Guys...
Feb 25, 2008 5:53:48 GMT -4
Post by moogle on Feb 25, 2008 5:53:48 GMT -4
Though I didn't know her as well as some of you (though I certainly wished I have), I remember her as a great person with a cheery, friendly, and welcoming character with a definite aura of maturity and strength. It's crazy becuz despite my relatively short stay at AD, she definitely found a place in my heart because out of everyone in AD, there were 3 people that I remembered distinctly. Tazi, arcbo, and Serafine. [Sorry to the others ] Read this letter several times already and each time was initially met with unbelief, shock, and sadness. However, the feeling of sadness is comforted by re-reading her sig... But no matter what kind of farewell it is, lets believe that even if we don't see each other even if death parts us, our feelings will never disappear. You'll never be gone from my heart. Even if we're far apart... Even if... Even if... Even if we can't stop time, the feelings between us won't change. For the fact that two meet is a miracle. And so it is that even now, and though time may pass, she will never be gone from my (our) heart. Even in this time of sorrow, it is her words that offers strength, hope, and comfort as we are reminded that the time together was already a miracle, for her, and for us. R.I.P Serafine, I pray that you are in a much better place now. Thank you for being a miracle.
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Tonks
New Member
Posts: 39
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Guys...
Feb 25, 2008 17:24:30 GMT -4
Post by Tonks on Feb 25, 2008 17:24:30 GMT -4
My dear Sera Lin,
I’m only beginning to miss you. Our history has been playing back in my head for all of this day. You’re my first friend to go, and I cannot imagine any other way for you to have gone than how perfectly you did. I love you. I’ve always been thinking about you since Valentine’s Day of last year when I found out about your heart. I prayed for your health for one year before I slept every night - Even after your supposed death day. A few weeks after this Valentine’s Day I found out about what happened to you. I don’t know how else to write to you, because I don’t want to write about who you were, because I don’t like talking about what kind of person you were other than what you really are to me. I love you. I remember the first day I met you, you were a crusader, and you started to help me at soils when I was an assassin, and we ended up leveling there together. I found my smile that day. Since the day we met, I have always had that smile you gave to me on my lips, and I will keep it with me forever. Your sense of humor and good advice were always there in your conversations with me and up until the very last conversation we had last month. I told you I loved you for the first time then and I love you now. Your kind words will be with me for the rest of my life, until the next time we may meet. And, I want you to know that you never hurt me in any way. You gave me the best life lesson.
Love, Rebecca DeVries
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Zetus
Junior Member
Posts: 56
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Guys...
Feb 25, 2008 20:51:40 GMT -4
Post by Zetus on Feb 25, 2008 20:51:40 GMT -4
There are some things that you just can't believe, don't want to believe, when you first hear them. This would be one of them. Though I know you can't read this Sera, know that we love you, wherever you may be. I can't really bring myself to words at the moment, so I can't really say much else.
Should I ever be in Toronto, if Migg can give me the cemetary, I'll pay my respects, not just for me, but for all of us.
And if anybody has a photo of her, please put it up in memory. Somehow an ro sprite isn't quite the way I want her to be remembered.
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Guys...
Feb 26, 2008 5:03:40 GMT -4
Post by <<iChiMaRu>> on Feb 26, 2008 5:03:40 GMT -4
Our Dear Sera, i couldnt believe it..nor do i wish to..you're such a great friend, funny and kind person..You brought us so much laughter and happiness..We all miss you and we loved you so much..i remembered every single time and day i had with you and the rest, i wont forget those great and fun memories..Its my honor..always my honor to know you, and even be great friends with you..
I had so much things to tell you, to talk to you.. heh..i regretted even to leave AD back then..so guilty and hated myself for letting you carrying the burden of misunderstanding..wanted to take the opportunity to say a thousand times of sorry to you, from the bottom of my heart. Had i cherish the time i had with you, had i not made the wrong decision, prolly we could've still been talking to each other..Im so sorry..i miss you alot, really..
You dont have to feel bad or ask for our forgivness.. Its us, who wish to thank you for all the grea memories you gave us, for letting us being your friend, for being with us all the time..i had a great time playing with u too..Those memories shall stay with me....forever...I hope you can hear us, though prolly cant, but still...i wish you know that we care for you, like a real family member..and you will always be..
R.I.P sera, hope u will have a better life next time, if theres an afterlife.. you always be remembered by us, Your AD guild Family, love.
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Guys...
Feb 27, 2008 3:11:14 GMT -4
Post by Nappaholic on Feb 27, 2008 3:11:14 GMT -4
Dear Sera, Im sry i was neva apart of AD long enough to fully understand who u rly r and wat ur rly capable of doin... Well, 1 things for sure is dat deep down in my heart i can c and tell u were "1 IN A MILLION"... I can clearly realize how much of an impact u set upon da AD family and how much u r luvd and charish... Im rly sry to hear dat things eventually hit a rly big bump on da road, i "MEAN RLY BIG BUMP" dat tends to lead us on a road far apart from each other even more den we alrdy r... I alwaiz, used to sit and laugh at those days wen u and Blue will alwaiz chit chat and goof around everytym we were all together... Ur name alwaiz stand out even if everyday i alwaiz c: Ruines, Ichi, Griffy, Tazi, Blue, Jinsou, arcbo, and many more who i am sry to say atm ='/... I wanna wish u a safe journey and dat maybe 1 day we'll "ALL" meet again and b together to rekindle our flames...
P.S. - R.I.P. Sera and May Ur Luv And Spirit Watch Over Us As If We R Doin Da Same <3...
~1Luv Alwaiz~ Mike a.k.a. Nappy
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Yoku
Junior Member
~ * Fairy * ~
Posts: 68
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Guys...
Feb 27, 2008 14:10:28 GMT -4
Post by Yoku on Feb 27, 2008 14:10:28 GMT -4
Dear Sera,
I never knew about this...but i didnt know you that long but those times we spend together i loved you like my sis and i still do... I'm glad i met you and i really cant believe you're gone ... I love you. we all do you'll always be in our hearts! <3 be our guardian angel ! R.I.P. Sera
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Guys...
Feb 27, 2008 18:17:49 GMT -4
Post by Takayanagy on Feb 27, 2008 18:17:49 GMT -4
Dear Sera, I didn't know you very well, but I remember only good things about you. While I was reading this I could not believe what happened. I even read it few times hoping I understood something wrong, but seems like this horrible thing is true. As I type this, horrible feeling is overwhelming me, knowing there is almost nothing I can do except say bye for 1 last time.
R.I.P Sera, I hope your spirit will always be with people you love, and with your AD family. You'll be our Guardian Angel, till we all meet again.
Love, Marin aka Taka
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Guys...
Feb 27, 2008 23:53:31 GMT -4
Post by kurotori on Feb 27, 2008 23:53:31 GMT -4
Dear Sera, Sorry I havent replied to this sooner... I love you Sera. And always will. I have many memories I love and cheerish in AD and alot of them are with you, most of my favorite ones include you. From the times you, arcbo and I would explore Gunryun, the times You, Taz and I would go hunt or lvl together,and to any other times we experienced together, all of them are beautiful, wonderful memories that will never leave me. For the last while I have been very distant, and probally don't know you as well as I used to. But I remember you being such a wonderful, fun, cheerful, person that was ALWAYS there for me. Weither it would have to do with my problems with my life, or needing help lvling, you were always there to help me out and make me laugh.. you never failed at cheering me up, and I'm sure you did that for alot of others too. Thank you. And I know you will still be there for us all. Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to meet you. You were an amazing person Sera, a true legend. Best Pally I've ever seen. Your always in my heart. I miss you deeply already. R.I.P
<3 KuroTori
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Guys...
Feb 29, 2008 16:30:57 GMT -4
Post by Uziel on Feb 29, 2008 16:30:57 GMT -4
Arite guys, It's been a week and well...during my idle check wikipedia for the most inane shit I saw on the main page that Today's Featured Article (February 29 2008) was the Canadian city of Hamilton.
For those of you not in the know, Hamilton is Sera's hometown. I figured that was freaky enough to finally elicit a response from me...
What can be said about Sera that hasn't already been mention? She was a good friend, great company and an excellent person.
I can remember the conversation we had on the topic of death. She wanted to pass away quietly without much of a fuss so as to not burden everyone with sorrow. And me being Mr. Truth-and-fucking-justice would not have it. Do not give us this "I wonder where she is" feel good I cried. The Truth is better than living a farce.
And you know what...The truth hurts
And it still does, It has taken me an entire week to work up the nerve to post on these forums, these very same forums she helped me redesign. Especially the background depicting a sunset, the symbolism lost to me until this very week. But as a sunset represents the close of the day there will always be a sunrise to herald a new beginning.
And on the subject of pain. I remember thinking in one of my classes when the question "Why is life worth living if we're all destined to die" came up. And I mused that pain has always been with humanity. That we walk hand in hand for all time. But one thing I altered is that you can hold pain's hand and have it slow you down or you can kick it in the balls and keep on going on with your life.
For me, this whole situation hurts but she wouldn't want us saddened at her passing and that's something I will honor. I will not cry at her passing. I will live life glad knowing a Ms. Sera Lin.
When I'm done with pain...he'll be pissing blood, urine and semen. This I guarantee you.
R.I.P Sera Lin, I hope you are in a better place.
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Post by arcbo on Mar 1, 2008 1:43:42 GMT -4
Coming and going..it's what I have been used to my entire life. As I go on with this message, I feel already a walking contridiction and could not be anymore settled than I already am..that is to say if I actually am. I have not felt so assured the day I had to leave and have not felt so much since then. I am writing, or rather typing this up for you now because I miss you. I could not think of any more or less to say because everyday, there is something I will always miss; whether it will be something simple as an opportunity in life or complicated such as this. How do I reach you now, knowing that you are permantly gone, and that I may no longer see you again? That is a question I feel I have struggled with for such a long time, searching for an answer that may never be found. Will my question of your's ever be answered?..Will I ever see you again? The only answer I have is now is met with a realistic apprehension. The answer I wish for is one of an optimistic, yet lingering truth..that you are still alive out there, but can no longer be reached. Is there a difference now?
Is it that I have not appreciated you so much that now I choose this time to deliver to you, this message that will never be read upon by your eyes? This message, seen by everyone but you? Have I been the person you've believed in for so long? The person who is better than whom Ray..or rather, arcbo thinks he is? To still be asking of you, even though you are forever gone..how selfish of I now. I guess you and I have been both selfish, but could we have also been selfless in that manner? We did not want to hurt the other, yet we found both of us suffering in the end. It is too late to tell you now, but I would have been happier to know that you were suffering..I wish I could have been so much more. If I were, maybe I would have known, but I was not. I feel so uncertain now..unfulfilled dreams and wishes, another to dream about and another to wish for.
But if I may request one last time, it is for you to not be alone anymore. I hope that wherever you are, you have found happiness..please rest now, you deserve it.
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Guys...
Mar 1, 2008 13:39:10 GMT -4
Post by Ruines on Mar 1, 2008 13:39:10 GMT -4
Hi,
Wow. I was caught off guard while reading this. I read the subject saying "Guys..." and was thinking oh no what is going on. It didn't take long for me to find out.
I am really sorry to hear. I am saddened and at the same time I am happy. I am happy because as I see these replies, I can see how much we all do care for each other. As a matter of fact, we cared for one another more than we ever expected. I know coming to the game I only knew Tazi in real life but after playing the game I have come to know such amazing people.
Let me say I am really honored to have become friends with her and even more honored to Tazi who definitely was on a different level of friendship with Sera than I ever was. He and her were a crazy pair. A amazing pair. A pair destined to be partners in crime. I can remember her smiting my ass in pvp and it was funny cause Sera was always kicking the guild leaders' ass. Sad on my part but she was one tough cookie with an amazing personality.
I owe that young lady so much. I gave up on the guild and that is a fact. We all did to an extent but I definitely gave up. She was one of those hopeful and determined to not let all our friendships and our memories be stripped off by my selfish decisions. She fought and wanted us to be together no matter what was going on. Her and Tazi crusaded the game and wanted everyone to be together. The forming of Kell Hounds. This forum is no longer AD but KHRedux?. This was an act conducted by Sera to strive us all to continue keeping our friendships and memories. Those same memories we can all remember all so well. Those great memories are not forgotten and can never be extinguish because of her efforts and everyone's efforts.
I love that girl and I love you all. As Ex-guild leader, I do have a few last orders to give:
1) Someone mentioned that we should visit her grave and pay our respects. I say ,yes, lets. However, lets not just talk the talk and let us walk the walk. Let us take action and really do visit her. Tazi as a request, please schedule when and where and let us all do our best to be there. Let us all go with Tazi because he out of all people should honestly be there most. That is my opinion for certain reasons.
2) Our lives have been traveling at the speed of light and we all have been moving on with our lives. But, let us all remember and be friends with each other as long as we can and to never let each other diminish out of sight no matter how fast our lives go to let us forget.
Sincerely, Stephen Kay E. Palad (Currently HN going for HM3 Palad) in the military and also yours truely aka Ruines.
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Guys...
Mar 1, 2008 16:04:59 GMT -4
Post by Uziel on Mar 1, 2008 16:04:59 GMT -4
Problem with the grave thing guys
She requested to be cremated and her ashes placed into fireworks for a festival in her home country of Brunei
Going out with a bang...another thing we talked about...
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Post by wonbbly124 on Mar 3, 2008 5:52:15 GMT -4
hi, its itchy over here...some problems with my previous account.
i understand why she wanted that..Sera, it is you, that made our lives soar into the sky like the fireworks, and explode out beautifully, and colourful..If its ever possible, i really wished..really really wished to be there and watch you spread out into the sky like an ever blooming flower, young cheerful, beautiful, ever so innocent and kind...
Though..in my heart, i hate it...hate that u would choose this way..because i cant even visit your grave, pay you respects..but i know...its your wish...to end so beautifully..i can only wish that we would meet again, in our next life..bye Sera...
With much love, IchimaruGin, The itchysaurus(thank you, for the wonderful name)
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Kipp
Junior Member
<('<') ^(' ')^ ('>')>
Posts: 62
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Post by Kipp on Mar 3, 2008 6:32:53 GMT -4
Wow... just read this topic. Its very shocking. I didnt know sera as well as most of you, but what I did know was she was a great person and pally heh. I am sorry to hear that she has passed on so early in life and give the best of wishes to her family and all of those who knew her better. What is with the month of February in 2008 anyways. Two of my friends/coworkers were in a fatal auto accident a couple days before valentines. This has just been a very bad month.
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